We can't take this affront sitting down

[travelinman]

Sun, February 4, 2007

We can't take this affront sitting down
'You guys are being feminized, and you don't even know it.'

By TED BYFIELD

When I first read this story, translated as I recall from a German newspaper, I simply could not believe it.

Europeans were lately becoming somewhat strange, I knew, but surely not that strange.

The article described Germany's new unisex public lavatories, where there are no urinals, and if you lift up the toilet seat, you are admonished by an automated electronic voice:

"You know you are not supposed to stand.

"Please sit down!"

From the peculiar viewpoint of those who plan our New Social Order, with its insistence on sexual "equality," I suppose such insanity makes sense.

My own first thought was that if they didn't want males to stand, the obvious expedient would be an immoveable toilet seat.


That sociological washroom designer may have looked deep into the male mind, however, and discerned that this could just bring out the worst in him.

Furious, he might proceed regardless and inevitably (perhaps deliberately) spray the seat. ("Take that, you creep!")

Better to use another tried and true avenue.

Work on his guilt.

Hence the voice.

Even so, I could scarcely believe it.

The Germans?

Twice the terror of Europe in the 20th century -- the wild, savage and often morally puritanical barbarians who destroyed most of Europe in the fifth and sixth centuries--now intimidated by societal pressure to pee sitting down?

Not a chance.

Until last week, that is, when I was confronted with grave cause to realize the story might be true.

This revelation did not occur in Germany, however, but in Clarkson, Ont., a Toronto suburb.

I've always somehow felt comfortable in the Mark's Work Warehouse stores.

The quality and prices are good, and you feel relatively safe -- safe, I mean, from fashions and fads.

You feel surrounded by work, real work, construction work, oil drilling, mountain surveying, all refreshingly macho.

White-collar wimps like me buy stuff there because it makes us feel we're part of all this.

Oh, I know women now work these jobs, too.

But if you actually look, there are very, very few of them.

Nineteen out of 20 of the guys doing those jobs are still just that --guys, Mark's Work Warehouse kind of people.

Anyway, last Wednesday, three weeks on the road and another week to go, I ran out of long underwear.

"Well, do a wash," said my wife over the phone from home.

"I haven't time," I said.

So I went to Mark's.

Where else would you look for good, manly long-john drawers?

They had quite an assortment.

I picked out what looked like the warmest, bought two pair, took them back to hotel room and put one on.

Funny. I'd put it on backwards.

I'd never done that before. So I took it off and put it on the other way.

Still backward.

Then the truth dawned.

There was no fly.

But right there on the package it said "men's."

My mind reverted to the German washroom.

Any second I expected to hear an electronic voice come out of the package and tell me: "You know you're not supposed to stand. You'll be sitting down from now on. So you don't need a fly."

Back I went to Mark's. I told the lady clerk I had a rather delicate complaint, and wanted to speak confidentially.

"How come," I whispered, "you sold me women's underwear that was called men's underwear?

"What's going on?"

She was patient, polite and very understanding, rather like a kindergarten teacher.

"But it is men's underwear," she said.

"You see it's unisex. It's for both men and women. Things are changing."

"Look!" I said.

"If they want unisex underwear, why don't they make all underwear with a fly in it, and then both sexes could use it?"

"But it's more complicated than that," she replied.

"There's more involved."

"You bet there is," said my wife, when I reported the incident.

"There's a whole lot more involved. You guys are being feminized, and you don't even know it. You let women push you around and you mildly acquiesce. You're a bunch of chumps and push-overs. God help us if there's another war, and we have to depend on you to defend us.

source

[cincygreg]

Does it remind you to wipe as well?!???!?!? [img]eek.gif[/img]

There are clubs in the US that have unisex bathrooms as well, though not many of them.
(some become unisex due to the long lines for the ladies room LOL!)

I'm not so sure I like the idea of my toilet talking to me. That is unless it's got something interesting to say!